23 Agosto 1883

La otra noche me dijo Lete que el lunes había estado hablando con Rizal más de cuatro horas.–Como buen amigo–decía–se lo contaba todo, y ahora veía que no había sido sincero con él. Antes le decía Rizal que no pensaba en mí y ahora le dice lo contrario. Le preguntó Rizal a que altura estaba respecto de mí, se lo dijo, y le dió el consejo a Lete de que no se fuese a Barcelona, porque–si te vas–le dijo–puede que no te conteste el 24 sino el 25, o lo que es lo mismo, nunca; luego, enseguida que te marches se enfriará si acaso se va convenciendo y yo, no te respondo de mí. Sabes–seguía diciéndole Rizal–que le gustaba a Inés (no recuerdo de quién se trataba entonces. Nota de E. de L.) y sin embargo se la dejé a Antonio (Paterno); con ella hubiera pasado el tiempo, con Consuelo, no; por eso te dije que como amigo te aconsejaba que te casaras con ella, pero como Rizal, no–Como es noble–prosiguió Lete por su cuenta-hemos hecho un pacto que consiste en que él no dirá nada hasta el 24 de Octubre. Me dijo que tenía que con- testar a una pregunta que Vd, le había hecho. Le pregunté qué era y me contestó que no podía decírmelo porque era un secreto.

Al día siguiente vino Rizal y me trajo dos piezas de música como recuerdo de París y unos versos que yo le había pedido en el concierto, y otros dedicados a mí que me confirman en todo lo que me había dicho Lete. Irán con este diario para evitarme escribir y porque creo que revelan o quieren reve- lar la pasión, no a una indiferente, sí a mi por haberlos inspirado, y por conocer al autor. Mi pregunta fué si se había ya curado, pregunta algo atrevida y que ya siento haber hecho.

The other night Lete told me that on Monday he talked with Rizal for more than four hours.

“As a good friend,” he said, “I related to him everything, and now he saw that I had not been sincere towards him.”

Before, Rizal said to him, he didn’t think of me, now he told him the opposite. Rizal asked him about the status of his relationship with me. He told him and he advised Lete not to go to Barcelona because “If you go,” he said, “it’s possible she may not answer you on the 24th but on the 25th, or never, which is the same; then, as soon as you’re away she’ll get cold, in case she’s becoming convinced, and as for me I can’t be responsible to you.” “You know,” Rizal continued, “that I liked Inés and nevertheless I left her to Antonio (Paterno); with her I could have passed away the time, but with Consuelo no; for this reason I have told you as a friend I advised you to marry her, but as Rizal, no.”

“As he’s noble,” Lete continued, “we have made a pact that he’ll say nothing until 24 October. He told me he had to answer a question you put to him. I asked him what it was but he replied that he couldn’t tell me because it was a secret.”

The following day Rizal came and brought two music sheets as a souvenir from Paris and some verses that I had asked him at the concert and others dedicated to me which confirmed everything Lete had told me. They go with this diary to save me the trouble of writing them down and because I believe they reveal passion, not for an indifferent one but for me who had inspired them, and for knowing their author. My question was if he already got cured, a rather bold question which I’m sorry I asked.

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