I came in at about 8.20 for the meditation which started at 8.15 am. Late because I had to settle several matters before I could go on retreat, one of which was the wish of the children to go back to Manila inasmuch as they had nothing to do since none of their crowd had as yet come up… Imelda was upset by the restlessness of the children.
Somehow, this and other problems that have arisen in the past month have made my retreat more urgent. I have to think out the plans that I have drawn up. This includes: the report on increased subversion, the arson, the acts of terrorism in the Metropolitan area, the continued shipment of arms for the subversives, their recruitment and training and the renewed activities of the front organizations. And we have had to review the eventual use of the suspension of the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus and even the proclamation of martial law.
So I talk to God in my retreat, asking for guidance, knowing that he sees me as I am—a man with strengths and weaknesses. I keep no secret from him as he has watched me in my nakedness.
More than the reading and the thinking it is this quiet and continuous conversation with God that I attain.
I have just come from the chapel where I prayed fervently that He may be with me always.